in the quiet Of my Peaceful night, yOu came again and it made me smile. in the quiet Of my lOng and insPiring night, i clOsed my eyes. i clOsed my eyes until i wasn’t aware Pictures, imageries and Or memOries started flushing around like falling leaves floating by.

i guess sOme were haPPy recOllections Of bOth what had already transPired and sOme Of hOPeful thOughts Of what cOuld have been jOyful memOries Of us tOgether

in the quiet Of my night, a visit tO me yOu suddenly Paid. unlike any Other chaOtic nights, i was just Physically exhausted yet serenely at Peace in my heart this time. there was nO rOOm fOr any rage, anger, blame nOr regrets in my head. all i wanted tO dO was embrace yOu fOr being yOu and fOr the friendshiP that was still there. this though–the friendshiP, PerhaPs, is my uncOnsciOus desire.

and unlike any Other undesirable nights, there was nO desire fOr me tO cOntrOl the imagery in flushing flOating arOund in the rOOm of my head–much like falling leaves, imagery just scattered and flOated, it was if there was air and water, Peacefully colliding and like dancing in the air. it was that kind Of calm. seeing yOu in thOse images felt sO relieving — it was just relaxingly gOOd

that is why, i wanna say

to the boy i loved before,

wherever you are, i wanna thank you for giving me pleasant dreams every time. it was not just last night. in the midst of my chaos for a long time before, you had always been my calm sanctuary. thank you for this effect you have on me. i am and will always be grateful our paths once intertwined. although, they were not meant to be forever, the memories of us or me creating our memories together are always –i guess they are forever etched in my heart. the pleasant you will always be that anchor in my storm of uncertainty. although, i have already found a new one, i am happy how everything else turns so pleasant with the imagery of you even now. i am always thankful for what and how you have been to me— for the patience and understanding you have extended for me for a long while.  every time you cross my mind (at the state where i am now), i always wanna say sorry, i think you know what i am referring to. also, i am always rooting for your well-being and happiness. the thought of you being sad and miserable always makes me feel like my heart is cruelly crumpled in one’s palm –just painfully sad. that is also why, i always wish i didn’t say those things. you just deserve all the best and happy things in life, po. thank you. 1/23/2024

here’s a heart of an image. i just accidentally found this today 1/24/2024 right after i was scrolling through old photos looking to free some space after having seen you in old photos of good old days. perhaps it was why i dreamed about you. this was my thought and when i decided to move on to my next errand for today, i saw this on a box, immediately, it is saying “this is what it is all about”. me being at peace with the HEART of my life now and also feeling the same for the one who used to be the one.

P.S. as I was writing this, i was wondering whether he was thinking about me because I read it or heard it from somewhere that when you suddenly dreamed about someone, it could that they were or are thinking about you. if this was the case, i am smiling.