in the journey of my rebirth

i seemed to have lost track of some other important aspects in life

i think i might have prioritized myself too much

or

i really haven’t loved myself that much yet

had i been there, i would not have been affected by how i was called “selfish”

nor would i have been more affected by the thought of being called one in the future

that future where i will have abandoned the blameless anchors constantly dragging me down time and time, again and again

but why do i constantly let them moor me down to the bottom?

is it because i fear the journey? (i don’t think so)

or

is it because my map is still half-empty, still unclear and kind of blurry? (could be)

or

is it because of the lack of conviction that considerable amount of time have passed and still, i haven’t even awakened the urge to set that sail yet nor have had the commitment to take the first steps for it

(sigh)

now, retracing the steps back to where it was all beginning again

where have i been since i lost me again?

where am i now to where i am going?

where is the journey really heading?

I guess…

it is not the map, it’s the final stop
“trails are made once steps are taken”

—marymancee ✨✨✨ || my realization upon writing this || P.S. anger. fear. frustration. burnout causing crankyness, irritation and apathy in life