Something triggered me today, and it reminded me of a lesson I’ve come to understand over time.

Just because you are suffering, doesn’t mean the world owes you anything. Seeking sympathy is human–but demanding it or guilt-tripping others for not showing it the way you expected it is just gonna push people further away.

Again! Your suffering does not entitle you to sympathy. Your pain is valid but so as everyone else’s.

I learned this lesson a while ago, but I think I forgot it somewhere along the way. At first, I thought this message was meant for someone else… but the truth is, I needed this reminder more than anyone, too.

Sometimes, it’s not about pointing fingers—it’s about turning inward and being honest with ourselves.

But since we’re being honest… there’s more.

Lately, I’ve been impatient and, at times, even rude—without fully realizing how it affected others. In moments of stress or emotional distress, I let my pain speak louder than my compassion. I’ve said things I regret, including harsh words toward a staff member of a remittance company and probably others I can’t even recall clearly now. And in that, I became entitled without realizing it.

Around two years ago, I’ve lost respect for a friend who expected me to be her emotional and financial caretaker. I know she’s younger, but it’s not right to expect someone else to take full responsibility for your happiness. I gave what I could—time, care, support—but she couldn’t even show appreciation for the little things I did. Instead, she betrayed me. White lies—yet they hurt and disappointed me in a way I didn’t expect. I wanted to give her another chance, to work through it, but she refused to acknowledge her part in it. And that made me question myself. Am I a difficult friend? I always thought I was the easiest person to befriend—open, understanding, willing to be there for others. But now I wonder if I’ve been wrong about that.

And then, this year, someone even closer to me kind of began to expect the same, financially. When I didn’t meet those unspoken expectations, she pulled away. She stopped talking to me. And honestly, I don’t feel the need to fix it—because if repairing that relationship means once again sacrificing my own well-being and taking on financial responsibility that isn’t mine to carry, then no… I can’t go back to that.

Then today, another person who was clearly suffering. And I understand that pain shows up differently for everyone. But I’m not gonna lie—I won’t blame them entirely. I also played my part in the distress that stirred the conflict. But still, what disappointed me was the moment they essentially told me: “My pain matters more than yours.” As if suffering somehow gives someone permission to invalidate someone else’s.

And just like that, I was thinking, Another friendship over. It’s like my entire system for them just shut down, and now, there’s no going back.

This all made me ask myself—Am I gonna keep losing people like this? Is there something wrong with me for refusing to go back to that role? For not adjusting myself to fit someone else’s expectations anymore?
Is this the price of being the one who finally wakes up and realizes what’s unhealthy?

Maybe it is. Maybe growth feels like distance. Maybe healing looks like letting go of roles you were never meant to play forever.

But if choosing peace, boundaries, and self-awareness means losing the approval of people who would only love the version of me that overextends, then maybe that’s a price I’ll be willing to pay.

How about you? Do you believe I should still go back and adjust, or is it best to just let it go? 

4-11-2025 || moving out (of people’s lives)