Today, I’ve decided that I publish this writing just because I want to remember this day.
The other night before I went to sleep, as I was lying down and trying my best, I could not really stir my thoughts away from my doubts and worries–which had been for a few days this time. Whatever I did would not help to distract me from it not even me telling myself to just sleep it off and it would be fresh inspired thoughts the next day, and so I just pretended that someone was there and I just talked with him about it. I imagined that someone was Him. He was there listening to all the silly things I had to say. I wanted to have someone to talk to so badly but unfortunately no one was there (and before you continue thinking how poor I am and to help myself not sounding like a lonely unloved being, let me say NOPE UH OH not like that! There was no one not because no one cares for me but because it was like 2 in the morning :-D)
Anyway, last night before I was finally able to become unaware of my conscious thoughts, similar thoughts passed by but this time it was not as heavy as it was on the other night. I am never one to sleep with a heavy heart, I do not want to NOT wake up having a dramatic weary soul the next day (not that I am aware what would I feel once it happened–just thinking of in case I would know, I would not want to have that kind of feeling :-D) so I make it a habit to make sure I am able to pour these heavy things out and cheer myself up before finally sleeping at night. Last night, what I did was the same thing. Talk to Him. Pretend He was there. Share my worries out loud to Him and then just name things that I feel truly grateful for in my life.
The thing that amazed and surprised me today, which I am truly grateful for is the fact that the thing that worried me the most for the last couple of days until last night was the first one to cheer me up this morning. It was there. I did not even expect it all and it was more than what I was hoping for . And while I am aware that I am being vague as to what it is right now, I also feel very certain I am not going to say what it is exactly because it is something I would not want to cringe about when I decide to look back in the future time to come. But, I can share you this.
What I am mostly grateful for today is 8c4altn.