To all the people I’ve hurt (ignored, abandoned, judged & or avoided) before: My High School Bestfriend

Dear Ana Marie B. N.

We were best of friends and it started in our freshmen year in high school. Thanks to you I had my awesome high school years. Thanks to you I learned to be cool.

Because of Harry Potter you and I became so close. I noticed your English was very good and you were smart, very friendly, and kind, too. Because of “A Walk to Remember” Juliet and I became closed too and then we, the three of us, became best friends. We named ourselves JAM. We topped our freshmen year and it felt like we just belonged all three together. Unfortunately, we got separated in junior year. That’s when I started liking Reiz haha and then because we were not in the same class anymore, we could not hang out as often as before that. Then, in our fourth year I think that’s when you met Kenneth and I was so happy for you. You two seemed so in love and you were happy, too. I was so happy because I saw how hurt you were with the previous guys you dated before him.

There was this photo of the three of us, Juliet, you and I, we took in one of the internet cafes and then this photo became my favorite and then Reiz took notice of it, too and said I looked cute in it. Waah it became my favorite even more.

I think you’re my number one cheer leader! You always encouraged me. You always listened to me talking about my crushes, Ronel U who was a bestfriend of your kuya Christian at that time, your kuya Christian who was my crush before Ronel haha. You always supported me and you were always there to tell me how picky I was especially when there was a guy who started courting me in our sophomore year who was a friend of my other crush, Agujar I think is his last name who happened to just live in my neighborhood and then I would be giddy sharing you about this information. You told me I was being picky when I said I was uncomfortable when that guy was starting to follow me around because he was not my type, it was his friend who I liked hahaha I had a lot of crushes in high school but Reiz O. was the first guy I super liked for a long time even until I was in my 2nd or 3rd year in college yet you were still always there to support me about it.

You welcomed me to your world. You let me come over on the weekends. You let me hang out at your house. You let me meet your family and they were all supportive of me. They were always supportive especially Bing2x. You were very kind and you were like my backbone. You always encouraged me when I would get worried about cutting classes — going to karaoke and then go drinking. I was always the lost one —always unsure of what I was doing. I would go out hang out with the gangs because I knew you were there but then somehow I was actually worried for cutting classes haha. I was kind of always torn in between (being cool or being serious with my studies) but it felt like you knew me that much, you would know if I was being like that and you would always cheer me up or Bing2x.

But then time flew, we weren’t high school anymore and we aren’t high school forever. You found Kenneth, gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who I was so happy and excited about. I was so excited I was gonna be a godmother for the first time and it’s my best friend’s son.

I don’t know lately I’ve been just introspective and I realized I haven’t really taken the time to appreciate the most important people that have become a part of my life. The things I mentioned above are things that make my life back then better and I appreciate you being in it. I am writing to let you know, especially today, that I appreciate our friendship a lot. I appreciate you a lot. The last time, we talked it was perhaps in 2020 and sadly, I was still ME. Still haven’t committed to anybody and I really appreciated that time when you reminded me of how I am romantically. Always choosy!!!! haha actually, I really appreciate that talk but back then, I did not know how to acknowledge you were so right. But then also, I was not yet sure of what my real issue was why I could not actually stay longer in a relationship tbh haha I was a bit embarrassed too because you were right I was choosy and it was 2020 I still had not figured it out myself. Then, lately, I finally discovered what my issues are but no, I haven’t found anyone yet. I mean, I thought I had. But, I was wrong. But once I do, I’m sure you’ll be one of the happiest to know.

You are awesome and you deserve the best. Please forgive me for not getting in touch and for forgetting my responsibilities as the godmother to your first son😛 . Time flew so fast and the next thing we knew, we were living in different worlds. We are not high school anymore. You are rocking your motherhood—being the cool awesome mother to your beautiful angels and I am still ME haha. Also, recently, I just have discovered and accepted that I am actually a passive-aggressive type of a person and so I am sorry if in some ways I have hurt you.✌️

Thank you so much for everything. For being you. For being my best-est friend. For being my number one cheerleader in high school. For being the most awesome person you are. I was indeed so blessed to have met you at that time I met you. Now as I am trying to look back, I am unsure. I can not remember haha I cannot remember if I did anything significant to you in return. Hopefully, I contributed beautifully in your life, too.

You’re really an awesome person and I know that your family is so lucky to have you. Kenneth is lucky to have you. Your kids are lucky to have that awesome cool smart mom, too. Keep on rocking and making your world a cool place to live in💖.


—Mj (By the way, you were the one who nicknamed me Mj 😘)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s