WAYS TO STAY CALM WHEN YOU ARE BURNING WITH ANGER

  1. PAUSE, SHUT UP and DO NOT SAY ANYTHING. This is another way of saying “Time out.” But the last time I was enraged , it felt so good to just go with it even though I knew it was not healthy. Then, I just stopped. I think this is the first step to distract ourselves from the burning desire in the heat of the moment.
  2. TAKE A DEEP BREATHE & DISTRACT YOUR URGE TO BE ANGRIER. So, stop and take a deep breathe. In my case, I remind myself of what I would lose if I continued being angry. Then, focus on the things I would GET if I stayed composed and calm. Also, I had to remind myself that “You don’t have to win a fight, if you know or you think that you are right. If are right, you don’t have to yell to prove you are.” The last time I was in rage, I just stopped and looked at the person without saying anything. Then, I continued breathing in and out. Just focused on the breathing.
  3. BE RATIONAL. Always remember that there are always BETTER WAYS in dealing with things. Yelling, screaming and continuously arguing would only make matters worst. I know it is not easy to stay rational when you are in the heat of the moment, but if you did number 1 and number 2, this comes a bit easier. Just remember, “If it is not going to solve the situation, it is not the best option.
  4. In summary, KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY and your MOUTH CLOSED until the urge has passed.

I think everybody feels this overwhelming pools of emotions from time to time and it is a bit hard when all we do is suppress them. Suppressing them is not very healthy. All the more when one of these emotions we feel is anger and frustrations. Anger which used to be a foreign word in my emotional vocabulary until recently. “Anger is a powerful feeling. It’s a normal and healthy emotion that happens when you are frustrated, hurt, annoyed, or disappointed.” And does not it feel good when you just go with it, lash out and explode? However though, it does not feel good after your anger has leveled down to zero, does it?

Recently, recently means in the past few years, I have experienced a lot of angry episodes to the point where it would start from being annoyed and then it would turn to rage. At this point, all I wanted to do was screammmmmmmm but now I have come to a conclusion that all of it was just piled up frustrations, heartaches, regrets and some other suppressed negative emotions. Then, I realized I had to find a way to let those frustrations out in some healthy ways because when you have a lot of these suppressed negative emotions, anger or rage is the emotion that can easily be triggered.

And although, this (in the photo) used to be my view on anger, people’s behavior are just one of the things beyond our control. Because no matter how in control we are though, there are situations, people and other factors that really get to our nerves. In this case, it is best to focus on managing your own reactions.

This photo is from https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/111431719/posts/1263

Those listed above are a few of the ways I have conjured up to avoid regrets and embarrassing anger manifestations, because I have had a lot recently and I feel like it is going to continue if I do not do anything about it.

(Angry years or rather the years I have gotten so angry and frustrated 2017(younger brother –now late brother), 2018 (older sister), 2019 (someone who lost my late brother’s bike) 2020 (him, my parents) 2021 (my father, my family, my coworker/s) & early 2022 (the CEO friend, older sister, parents, mother, father, him, family again, and everything else😂)

If you want to read anger management in better writing, I have linked two good sources below, I like the first one. Keep calm and enjoy 🙂

Seven Methods To Help You Switch From Angry To Calm In Seconds

15 Ways to Calm Yourself Down

Anybody can become angry-that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

-Aristotle

–marymancee, April 2022

6 comments

  1. I don’t have anger issues, but my partner does. The problem is…he doesn’t see it and won’t even discuss it. I can’t change him, but have learned to change how I react to his anger.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Many times, but he just gets defensive and angry, says it’s my fault that he gets so angry. He has many health problems and is on a ton of meds; I think that’s a good part of the problem, so I try to just let it go over my head. It’s not always easy, but I’m getting better at it.

        Liked by 1 person

        • That’s good to hear that you’re getting better at it. Keep it up. Although yeah it’s really draining sometimes too when you are the only one who keeps adjusting but it’s really difficult too let people see what they cannot or are not willing to. They can easily get defensive and it would only lead to another moment where they can get angry so in this case, it’s best that we who understand them continue what we do best. Eventually they’ll choose to open their eyes for it. Fighting 💪🏻

          Liked by 1 person

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