First of all, the main reason I came here is for me to have an avenue to express my thoughts and my unexpressed feelings especially the negative ones. However, I know that feelings and emotions are temporary especially the bad ones so I’m debating whether I should write or not. But since this is the reason I am here in the first place, I’ll just relieve myself. So, you feel happy, ecstatic today, you feel the extreme opposite the next day and I guess it is okay. Or is it?
I have been so lethargic for uncountable number of days now. I just want to stay home and do nothing. I do not want to say this but fuckkkk I am just soooo tired of feeling this way. I feel like I am the stallion in Dreamwork’s Spirit animation movie saying“One moment, I am free. The next, I am not.”
I am so indifferent towards anything else yet anger and frustrations get to me. At work, it’s just so noisy. So loud when in fact she can actually keep it down, Urgggh 🙄 I know it’s beyond my control but can’t she really think there are other people in the room too?
So, what is lethargy? Lethargy can refer to feelings of fatigue as well as a lack of mental or physical motivation. It can be a sign of a health condition. (I googled this.) What kind of a health condition? Well, I read these articles online so feel free to click the link below.
I also asked myself this question, “Does lethargy mean depression?”
According to my Google search, depression is a common cause of fatigue, “Am I depressed?”
Well, I think I am not. I am not sad or depressed about anything. I am just indifferent towards life and also, because I know this is not how life is supposed to be lived, I feel anxious trying to not feel this way (arrrggg insert my eyes rolling to myself).
“Depression is a common cause of fatigue, so you might be wondering whether your fatigue is a result of depression. But just because you’re tired all the time doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re depressed. The fact is there are many underlying conditions that could be responsible for feeling tired all the time. Jan 15, 2021 — source: verywellmind.com
Anyway, I’m glad I am writing here because I actually came across a thought that worked as a switch that turned me back to life and I’m feeing better now. P.S. If you are someone from work reading this (which means you are not supposed to be here because I am 100% certain I did not tell you about this place, please go fuck yourself off. I mean if you’re here it means you’re curious enough to find out things so I’d like to let you know I never want to hear you talk anything about other people or me and what I do. Just focus on talking about your life.)
—marymancee 7/15/2022
Some Random Thoughts 