I heard about this man that got a new dog and he was having a terrible time training him. On the verge of despair, he came across a charismatic Evangelist who said “Leave the dog with me. I’ll have him train in no time.” The next week the owner returned, the Evangelist picked up a stick, threw it, said “Fetch!”. The dog took off, picked it up, brought it right back. Then, the Evangelist said “Drop!” The dog immediately dropped it. The owner was so impressed. The owner was so impressed, he said “Can I try?” The Evangelist said, “Sure” The owner looked at the dog and said “Heel”. The dog lifted up his paw, placed it on the man’s forehead and said, “I command you to sickness to leave.” —Divine Detours, Joel Osteen