Is love a decision or a feeling? What is love? Like Really. How would you answer when somebody ask you this?

Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust. Love can vary in intensity and can change over time. It is associated with a range of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but it can also result in negative emotions such as jealousy and stress.

When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions. Yet despite being one of the most studied behaviors, it is still the least understood. For example, researchers debate whether love is a biological or cultural phenomenon.

-verywellmind.com

If you Google it, you will definitely see a lot of results about what love is and that there are different kinds of it, too. Romantically though, I define “love” as a choice and a decision.

Love is a choice and a decision because your actions determine if it lives on or ends. You are in control of how you act in your relationships and how much you push past conflict and challenges. When you decide to work on communication, trust, intimacy, or emotional security, you’re choosing love.

Psychcentral

For me, love only becomes an emotion the moment I meet someone and allow myself to be open in getting to know them, to evaluating the qualities they have as to whether they fit into the romance category. Then, seeing the way they are as something desirable or not.

I am a female and just like other females and males out there, we get to meet and interact with the opposite sex or the sex of our preferences every day. But why don’t we fall in love to all of them? It’s because falling in love is a really a decision. The surge of strong positive emotions only start rushing the moment we open ourselves up and put someone in specific categories. And I did exactly like this.

I was 22 when I decided to meet people and find someone to put into this “love category”. When I realized and saw that some of the important qualities I looked for in a “romantic partner” “boyfriend” etc. were in him, he was the one I chose to fall in love with – alongside the knowledge I had, the principles I anchored myself on in terms of making it (the relationship) worked.

It was euphoric. I remember having to use “surreal” at some instances. I was so grateful. I was perplexed to all the emotions I felt. I was overall happy. I was inspired. I was excited. I was hopeful. I could not wait to see him. I always made time for him. I fantasized him. I idealized him. And all the other things. You already know what I mean.

It also came to a point where it became disappointing and painful. Educational in the end – tons of lessons to be learned. Although sad and agonizing that it had came to an end, still it really was a blissful part of an experience.

Once, meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to me. And actually, looking back at the first time I opened myself up and fell in love, it still is. I learned most (if not all) of the things I needed in this area. He was surely the lessons I needed. His existence and now his non-existence in my life was the best risk I ever took in my life that I do not regret.

It’s true what Steve Jobs said at his 2005 Stanford Commencement Address. “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

— marymancee ✨ || Some Random Thoughts || 6th Writing Prompt, A Risk I Do Not Regret Taking || April 27, 2023