October Thoughts

All is fair in love and war

I finally understand what this means.

Foolish is someone who refuses to accept the reality —fails to see things as they are because their reality is somehow distorted by their skewed outlook and expectations from life and also because things are not in accordance to what is right.

“It’s necessary to bait the hook to suit the fish.”

—marymancee ✨ || October 7, 2022

No one is intentionally hurting anyone

They’re just trying to keep themselves safe in the ways they know how.

—marymancee ✨ || October 8, 2022 || October 8, 2022

Love Language

Love can be communicated in languages beyond words.

—marymancee ✨ || October 9, 2022

I got me

Got burned, but I learned
Our scars makе us who we are

—marymancee ✨|| October 10, 2022

My Old Sweet Self

Quest Finished.

I’ve come to the end of my quest. It was me, of course, I was mainly part of everything that had happened. My trust issues due to 1. my fear of abandonment, 2. my insecurity, especially financially because I never wanted to be like most of my own people being criticized and included in the negative stereotypes (especially when it comes to poverty and money), 3. my insecurity feeling like I did not deserve to be fully loved by anyone because I felt like I was not whole yet and because of that, it was okay because I did not have much to give as of the moment anyway. I still had a lot of responsibilities mainly the ones that sometimes suck the life and optimism in me and I did not even have the time to get to know myself better in some aspects. Luckily, I have always have this growth mindset mentality and even though I had to go through the rough times of being lost and insecure in myself, I had my strongest grip on other important aspects of life I give importance to.

Regardless of my issues I stayed true to fairness, honesty and although not so much with my personal integrity, I did not cause intentional harm or pain to anyone. Unconsciously, I was brought up being the caretaker. Thus, I naturally put others needs first before mine. Never mind I suffered because I knew I could endure. Never mind I looked bad or perceived as whatever because I knew my values (although I had to let loose of a few along the way) for as long as it didn’t kill me, it was okay. Never mind my suffering because thankfully there were people kind and understanding enough to help me see the beauty of life despite the bad blood of it all. There were people who truly cared for me. The people who I felt safe and whom I chose to trust with despite me having difficulty in this area. For them, I am already blessed and truly grateful.

Regardless of my issues, most of them I can now pinpoint clearly, I stayed true to what I believe was right, and for this, I should be proud of myself.

I’ve come to the end of this quest is what I said in the beginning and yet I know it’s actually just the beginning. In the meantime, I am happy and grateful of where I have come and what I have achieved for my life so far.

“Do not I mean NOTHING can aggravate, anger or stress me now.”

—marymancee || October 6, 2022

P.S. About the growth mindset. I got reminded of this today by someone I admire and can seem to resonate well with in this area.

The need for Suffering — Banter Republic

Suffering is best enjoyed in silence. I’m currently suffering from NDTDA. It’s a rare disease that loosely translates to No Desire To Do Anything Syndrome. I was first diagnosed as a toddler, the doctor promised my parents that I would outgrow it in the end. I’m glad to announce that in 2022, the doctor has […]

The need for Suffering — Banter Republic

“5 Relationship Tips for Women”

I heard about five relationship tips for women.

Number 1: It’s important to find a man that loves you and is loyal.

Number 2: It’s important to find a man that’s fun and makes you laugh.

Number 3: It’s important to find a man that’s a good worker–provides a good living.

Number 4: It’s important to find a man that is a great father and is good with children.

And number 5: It’s important that none of these four men know each other.

—Get Ready for Overflow, Joel Osteen

The Interview — Banter Republic

Why I left my last job? The company shifted the office and didn’t tell me where it was. Where I see myself in five years? I’d say my biggest weakness is listening. What I have planned for the future? To eat lunch. Long-term plans? Well, to have dinner. What do I make at my current […]

The Interview — Banter Republic

The part that got me cracking from this post is this

The interviewer handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.” So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually, he called my mobile and said, “Bring it back here right now!” I said, “$200 and it’s yours.” I didn’t get the job…

but I got a fairly used laptop with company secrets

I am always grateful for great content like this 💖 July 26, 2022

—marymancee

Whispers of the Universe: How Fragile We Are

We are constantly reminded of how trivial we are, how fragile and negligible our goose bumps seem compared to the magic of the bangs and whispers of the universe when it collides within itself. Like a jaded generation we have been taught to write ourselves off, to commit our shallow meanings to losing and finding ourselves alone, to shutting down and shutting out bitter hearts while staying awake in the depth of the night just crying to hold on a place where I can see the turn of the world and I am not afraid because I am reminded of the enchantment and the passion we shared, the ruthless dedication we made to devouring each other whole. 1/4

Joel Osteen’s Jokes “Blonde Jokes”

I heard about this man. He was sitting in a dark restaurant. He said to the lady next to him, “Would you like to hear a blonde joke?” She said, “Woah, before you tell me, you should know that I’m blonde six-foot tall and a professional body builder. The lady next to me is a blonde, six-foot two and a professional wrestler and the lady next to her is blonde six-foot five and a kickboxing champion of the world. Now, do you still want to tell me?” He thought about it a moment and said, “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times.” –Ask Big, Joel Osteen

In Summer

In the scorching heat of summer, it is inevitable if we forget the harshness of a cold winter.

Dreams About Water: Surprisingly, it wasn’t flowing uphill anymore.

I’ve always been having dreams about water recently; sometimes a river, a flooding river, a calm stream, a stormy river that turns into an ocean, a big wave splash of water in a river flowing from a mountain, an estuary, water flowing back to a damn, waterfalls, and some other kinds but most of the time these rivers or lakes or estuary would have water flowing uphill–flowing in the opposite direction. Surprisingly today, I woke up remembering there was nothing weird in my dream. The river was calm, and it wasn’t flowing upstream anymore. Today, I just feel like nurturing myself spiritually, too. || Monday, July 11, 2022

When I was in my freshmen year in college, Psychology was one of the most fascinating subjects for me. For some reason, I liked it and got interested in it a lot. Naturally, as Ms. Puracan, the teacher in my PSYCH101 class, would explain things, I could easily pick out people whose behaviors I can relate to the things being discussed. From then on, my belief that every behavior and every human action has explanations was confirmed and because of psychology, I learned and since then believed and understood that dreams are products of our subconscious thoughts. But then, every time I dream about water, I always ask myself “Why do I dream about a lot of water these days?” Today, I just felt enlightened and my interest in the subject just got aroused and so I spent my time Googling some possible dream interpretations, just for fun, and here they are! I start from the most interesting one for me because, heck, why would a river flow upstream? (I will be highlighting some parts that reflect my dreams and the events in my life.) 

DREAMS ABOUT RIVER FLOWING UPHILL

Dream about Water Flowing Uphill symbolizes your own desires for building a family and your family ideologies. You are undergoing some spiritual enlightenment. You need to focus your attention on something that you have placed on the back burner. Your dream represents giving yourself a second chance. You are in a good place and are embracing what life has to offer.

Water in your dream signals your introverted personality. You are standing in the middle ground. You are letting someone down. This dream suggests your latent paranormal abilities. You need to be cautious in affairs of the heart as they may be fleeting. Flow dream states your dependence on somebody in your family. Perhaps you are being too frigid. You can freely release your emotions that may not be appropriate in your life. The dream denotes how you manipulate your surroundings. You need to be more objective when evaluating a situation.

Uphill dream is a message for the repressed and dark aspects of yourself. You are on the verge of an emotional outburst. Your actions are being misunderstood and misconstrued. Your dream stands for the nurturing mother and how you are there for your loved ones. You are trying to put on a tough or mean face.

Dreaming of Water and Flow and Uphill Dream About Water Flowing is sometimes fertility, growth, and emotional maturity. It is time to take a stand and be more assertive. You also need to take advantage of the opportunities presented to you. This dream is a message for a rapid rise to success. You are overloaded and overwhelmed. Water and Uphill is a harbinger of lurking danger, aggression, and raw emotions. You may be experiencing a new relationship, a new career path, or a new adventure. You have the ability to stop at a moment’s notice to consider your next plan of action. The dream suggests the emotional or physical burdens you are carrying around with you. A burden will be lifted off you and you will come out victorious.

Flow and Uphill is a harbinger for your social interactions and how you relate to others. You prefer a quiet life of simplicity. You want the focus to be on you. Your dream is about a reminder of something important that is occurring in your life. A project, relationship, or idea is about to take off in a sudden and spectacular way.

Dream about Water Flowing Uphill points at your boundless creativity. You are unwillingly going along with a plan. Something old is passing and something new is entering your life. This dream means prosperity and satisfaction with the current state of your life. You are protecting someone or something. Sometimes, dreaming about water flowing uphill states internal chaos and turmoil while an orderly drawer signifies calmness. You feel you are being overshadowed and are underestimating your abilities. You are not letting your vulnerabilities show through. This dream is sadly a warning alert for feelings of frustration and lack of control in making decisions. You or someone is meddling in a situation you or they have no business in.

DREAM ABOUT A FLOODED RIVER 

A river is normally a body of water that has predictable boundaries. Dreaming of a flooded river could therefore symbolize that someone in your life who is usually reliable and stable has been pushed beyond their limits due to exceptional circumstances. You could be in this position yourself.

A dream about crossing a flooded river could symbolize that you are trying to go on with your normal business in spite of some major disruption. In some cases, toughing it out and going on with your business is the right answer.

In other cases, you really do need to honor the disruption and change your plans accordingly. It can be hard to tell the difference in waking life, but how crossing the river goes for you in your dream can give you some guidance.

If trying to cross a flooded river ends badly for you in your dream, you need to stop your regular plans and give your full attention to dealing with the problem that has come up for you. As inconvenient as this may seem in the moment, you need to deal with the disruption before it becomes even bigger.

DREAM ABOUT A FLASH FLOOD

If you dream of a destructive flash flood that seems to come out of nowhere, the flash flood dream meaning could have to do with any upsetting situation in your life that has caught you by surprise. It is more likely to be someone else’s emotional outburst that has shocked you in this way, as most people know if something is brewing with their own emotions. If you tend to lack awareness of your own emotions, however, it could be about your own emotional outburst.

The National Weather Service in the United States says that flash floods are most often caused by extremely heavy rainfall from thunderstorms, though mudslides or breaks in dams or levees can also cause them. If you dream of heavy rain and flood in this way, this could symbolize that you feel like you are under attack from some circumstance in your life and therefore pushed to the point of exploding.

Flood dreams most commonly symbolize emotions that have built up to a crisis point. If you have not yet had the emotional explosion, the flood dream can serve as a warning that you need to find someone to talk to about whatever is troubling you before you blow up.

If the emotional explosion has already happened, however, your flood dream can guide you toward finding a way to recover from the damage. As many of the world’s cultures have been taught, life can begin anew after a great flood.

DREAMS ABOUT RIVERS AND WATERFALLS 

Dream about Rivers And Waterfalls hints at some emotional journey that you are going through. You want to amount to something in your life. There is a part of yourself that you can always rely on. This dream points to something you want your significant other to do. You are struggling with success.

Rivers And Waterfalls is evidence of harmony in your life. You may be expressing some aggressive feelings toward others. The future looks bright for you. This dream represents a good friend hiding her or his true feelings. It is time to focus.

Dreaming of River and Waterfall River in your dream means feelings of abandonment and unworthiness. You need to channel and transform your outdated ideas or past experiences into something you can learn from. You have left behind your past. This dream stands for some sort of advice or message from your subconscious. You are going around in circles and headed nowhere. The river in this dream is a symbol of fear and your frigid attitude. You are prepared and ready for the task at hand. It is time for introspection. In addition, you need to be more self-sufficient. The dream is a message for your supportive role. You will redeem yourself and regain your honor after your fall from grace.

Waterfall in dreams draws attention to issues about your self-esteem and self-image. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself and are feeling a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings. You need to relax. The dream expresses your state of mind. You are neglecting aspects of your own self. A Waterfall dream indicates your mother. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself and are feeling a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings. You need to conserve your energy. Your dream states sadness and remembrance. You are looking for acceptance.

Dreaming about both “River” and “Waterfall” stands for a transformation and regeneration is only possible through some hardships. You or someone is being lured or tempted into some negative activity. Someone that you are interested in may not feel the same way about you. This dream refers to some rejected aspect of yourself. You should not underestimate someone’s ability because of their size. Dreaming about rivers and waterfalls points to power, strength, faithfulness, and intellect. You are rejecting some advice or message. You are well disciplined and secure in your life. This dream is a symbol of spiritual harmony. You are well-balanced in your personal, social and professional life.

HOW OUR HEARTS FALL IN LOVE

Isn’t it beautiful? How hearts can effortlessly fall in love with something as simple as a smile. How one single spark can inspire wildfires within us, and how the idea of forgetting the way someone made us feel is just as absurd as the coast forgetting the ocean, or the Earth forgetting the sun. Isn’t it beautiful? How ruthlessly we still hope, how deeply we still surrender.

xliii

#poem #poetry #biancasparacino