Budgeting & Saving Guide: How I BUDGET & SAVE to avoid going broke after VACATIONS

I would say that this has been the most effective guideline for me when it comes to managing my personal finances. I used to disagree with this “It’s not how much money you make, it’s how much money you keep” and anything that says like it simply because I used to work where I got paid super low and it was insufficient for my needs and wants in life and I just thought that it wasn’t really realistic at all. But actually, it was my living above my means that was unrealistic.

In my first job after university, my pay was higher than the regular and with the incentive schemes my company had, it was actually enough for a decent living where I could also keep some of my money for saving. And then, I opted to change my job because I didn’t feel like I was growing there and so, there I was in my second not-so-high-paying job but a satisfying one. There I was with the same needs and wants not considering that how much I was making in a month wasn’t actually enough for it. That time, I wasn’t so keen on sorting nor identifying my needs vs my wants yet. Because I was somehow tailed with debts every month, I challenged myself on making it’s-not-how-much-money-you-make-but-how-much-you-keep TRUE.

I started from taking note of my expenses i.e. identifying my needs (necessities like food, water, house rent, electric bills, my data/internet (because I had some extra businesses I had to keep running that required internet connection—if it wasn’t for that my internet would have been considered as another liability and so should not be a part of my need) and etc. so anything keeping us alive–well, conveniently alive is a need) and separating my wants (wants are anything you can live without it) from it. Then, I added everything up and remember saying “Oh, so this is what I need every month. These are the things I don’t really need. ” . I put the two together and it didn’t even have room for me to have savings and investments. It was actually negative because I have had debts (well, because of the things mentioned earlier and also some circumstantial reasons (like sudden expenses like hospitalization of a loved one and what not plus my environment basically trained me that financial debts were a part of anyone’s life and was necessary and is alright, which I strongly proven not to be true now) as well. Then, my family is my everything and so if it happens that one of the members got sick and confined in the hospital again, my debts would really continue whether I like it or not.

Basically, my monthly income minus my needs and wants equaled negative which means debts Monthly income – (needs + wants) = negative or debts.

So, I was thinking, how could I ever have that saving to do the things I want to do in my life? Things like traveling, going out with friends, treating my family to a vacation and stuff like these. Determined to get out of my financial situation, in my research, I found tow important answers to my question.

1. Increase your income like find another additional source so maybe like do part time jobs or do businesses, etc..

2. Do proper budgeting.

Resourceful as I am, I did manage to find additional sources of my income (sideline selling and whatever) but then still, it wasn’t enough. Hence, I had to find out what PROPER BUDGETING really meant. Then I learned that this PROPER BUDGETING THINGY must include the following:

  1. Emergency Funds
  2. Saving and Investment
  3. Needs
  4. Wants
  5. Tithe (This one is basically optional depends on your principle and belief as a person but in my case, well, it’s good to give back sometimes so I believe this must be a part of me, but I don’t necessarily give it to the church or any organizations per say, I give it directly to the people who need it like street children or relatives that are not part of the budget and so on.)

How must PROPER BUDGETING be done?

Of course, this is just a guide. If you have a a certain amount you want to have in a certain period of time, you can definitely adjust maybe your NEEDS (because honestly 50% is a lot–in my case I can still get some savings every month from it) or WANTS. Let’s say you set your needs to just 30% perhaps and then the other 20% you can add it to your monthly SAVINGS or INVESTMENTS. And if TITHE isn’t part of your practice, of course you can just add it to your SAVINGS or INVESTMENTS or in PAYING OFF YOUR DEBTS.

To illustrate, how I do mine, please refer to the following: (based on my current monthly income and expenses)

For this month’s income (August), I am not thinking of actually buying anything for my WANTS so I will take some from there to pay for my Taylor Swift’s Folklore album merchandise and I save the rest from my 20% for my travel and clothes in fall. I heard that there are holidays in September and usually holidays here in Japan means SALES everywhere so I’ll just go shopping on these days.
REMEMBER: Create your rules and stick to them. (from my most favorite person)

Anyway, after years of giving it a try and following this guideline, I finally understood and proven how effective it is just having one. I don’t feel guilty for buying and spending for what I want because at the end of the day, I know I have my savings and investments, my emergency fund (which I am continuously building up) and my budget for giving back (tithe) so when I see or encounter someone who needs help I can give if I want to.

The point being is that hopefully having a guideline as simple as this can get you started into developing a good spending habit. Good spending habit and better management of our finances can help us into reaching our dreams and doing the things we want to do in the future without having to sacrifice living-in-the-moment moments. And, the best things about having a guide is that you don’t end up overspending on something and most of the time, we tend to overspend on something that isn’t really necessary. So, at least we get to limit ourselves depending on our priorities in the present moment and our goals in the future.

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Why TITHE? Is it really necessary?

Emergency Funds

Published on Aug 20, 2020 at 11:14 PM

Best Mother and Daughter Conversation about Divorce

Daughter: Mom, can’t you stock up on some juice?

Mother: Of course not, that’s only sugar water.

Daughter: I’ll probably live forever

Mother: Thanks to me?

Daughter: Who else?

Mother: A long and healthy life is how you can do everything you want.

Daughter: I’ll play video games every day when I become a grandma and eat everything I want. My dream is to die while eating. I’m not kidding. Ice cream, juice, chips and chocolate. There are too many delicious snacks.

Mother: Nothing brings you more happiness than good health. Cancer cells live on sugar, remember?

Daughter: They have good taste, I give them that.

Mother: (Changing topic) Is it normal for people to have a change of heart? Or is it not?

Daughter: Well, it should stay the same.

Mother: Only a saint would achieve that. For people, it’s perfectly normal. You argue with your bestfriend, too and now you hardly talk. You did nothing wrong and what your best friend did wasn’t that bad but that’s what happened.

Daughter: (Nod)

Mother: It’s the same with me. I no longer feel the same way about your Dad. Just like others, he made a few mistakes. And they upset me. I wanted to let it slide, but I couldn’t.

Daughter: What kind of mistakes did Dad make?

Mother: Not everyone is perfect. I get why he did it, but now I’ve gotten used to living apart from him. I like the life we built here together. Are you upset?

Daughter: A little. Shouldn’t you have cut him some slack?

Mother: It’s not about forgiving or teaching each other a lesson. I find it better to have a separate life. And while doing so, if he and I find someone we are more fond of, we will begin new relationships.

Daughter: Are you and Dad divorced?

Mother: Actually, yes. I’m sorry for deciding on it without asking you.

Daughter: I knew something was up.

Mother: You’ll learn once you marry someone later on in life. You could disappoint your husband and you could be the one who’s disappointed. To forgive or to divorce. A choice must be made. In life, we go through many events and make countless decisions. Decisions that are not easy to make. Whether you calmly accept our divorce or throw a tantrum is up to you. There’s nothing I can do if you neglect your studies because of your sadness. Your life is yours to manage. I can’t live it for you. Children and parents can’t live each other’s lives for them. So take your time and choose wisely. Some things in life are controllable by willpower, but some are not. When I walked down the aisle in my wedding dress, I thought I’d be happy forever. Life not going as planned doesn’t mean you’ll be unhappy. Do I look sad to you these days? Do I seem depressed?

Daughter: (Shaking her head side to side)

Mother: There are many paths for people to take. Some even live without ever marrying. A co-worker of mine only found true happiness after a third marriage. There’s no right or wrong. We just have different paths in life.

Daughter: Was what Dad did unforgivable?

Mother: It depends on how you look at it. I guess you can say I could have understood him and looked past his flaws. It’s just that I couldn’t bring myself to hug him and kiss him anymore. It seemed off. And still living in the same house only made things uncomfortable and unnatural. I like how things currently are. There’s no big difference. It’s not like you can’t see your Dad. We can go out to eat from time to time. The only difference is we’re not living under the same roof. Is this hard for you to accept?

Daughter: (Shaking her head side to side)

Mother: You’ll understand with age. Right now, you won’t understand no matter how much I explain it.

Daughter: I only thought this happened in soap operas.

Mother: This can’t even be categorized as misfortune. When I was a young girl. I heard my aunt humming this song. “Heartbreaking Mia-ri Hill.” This may not be word-for-word, but the lyrics go like this.

Gunpowder smoke blinds me

As I wonder not knowing where I’m going

You, bound with string wire

Look over your back again and again

Limping barefooted

You’re dragged over this hill

The Mia-ri Hill —Full of heartache and sorrow.

Imagine that scene. It depicts a woman watching her husband get dragged to North Korea bound tightly with string wire. Imagine that it happened to you. What if that’s the last image you see of the person you love?

Daughter: It’s sad. It scares me too.

Mother: There’s no need to be lost or in pain over what will never change. What I hope is for you to maturely accept this. The fact that I have as well is why I’m still on good terms with your Dad. Your Dad and I started off as strangers anyway. It’s like having a falling out with a friend. At first, I thought some time apart would help me forgive and forget. That’s why I kept the truth from you. But now I’ve adapted to this way of life. If we were still under the same roof, I’d nag your Dad from time to time. How would that make your Dad feel when he’s a prideful man?

Daughter: I get it. I understand what you’re saying.

Mother: Your Dad has already adapted, too. There’s no man in this world who enjoys being nagged anyway. Besides, your grandma’s been taking care of him.

—a scene from Netflix’s Kdrama “Love (ft. Marriage and Divorce)” S3E7

Mother/Parent’s Conversation to Their Kids about Divorce//How to make kids understand about divorce//Divorce is not a bad thing

MY HEART IN WAR

I’ve sent MY HEART TO WAR for you so many times,

yet never has it said, “this is too much.”

Never has it backed down.

my heart sent to war poetry

Corny Jokes

What did the ocean say to the sand? Nothing — it just waved.

Going through something? I hope some corny jokes help you get through it. Laugh it off. Capture the good vibes. Live today.

—marymancee

To Whom This May Be Useful

We are not incomplete human beings, and there is no one in the world who is going to fill the voids of our soul other than ourselves.

In reality, there is more to forever than simply finding someone who you feel extremely connected to. We have to stop allowing this surge of feeling to act like a compass towards healthy relationships. Distinctive and enchanting feelings for someone are a great compass, but they shouldn’t be the only thing we take into account when falling in love. We can’t keep striving for this absolute, perfect love, because when life throws some less than perfect situations we are going to need more than exhilaration. We are going to need pragmatic love, we are going to need levelheadedness, we are going to need a person who fights for us every single day–who chooses us in spite of circumstances.

Soul mates don’t exist. Real human beings do. The goal is to redefine this idea of the perfect kind of love, and turn it into an openness to a very real kind of love. You aren’t going to find someone who completes you, and you shouldn’t strive for that. Instead, strive to find someone who inspires you to complete yourself. Strive to find someone who pushes you, and breaks into you in ways that allow for you to see all of the potential that exists within your bones. Strive to find someone who your loves grows with –slowly, strongly. Strive to find someone who ignites within you the motivation to love in the most enduring of ways because, luckily, that kind of person does exist. — P108, Seeds Planted in Concrete (book), Poetry by Bianca Sparacino

I think this idea of finding someone to complete you is just something some of us are constantly being fed on. Nevertheless, I feel grateful that through the vicarious lens I am seeing things from, I was conscious enough not to fall for this trap though I can’t recall exactly whose experiences lead me to this realization. I know I have read it from Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People but I only paid attention to this book in 2020 but my subconscious prompts about this being whole first before finding someone else had been there ages before 2020. I guess soulmates do exist, but we just don’t have to necessarily pinned them as the perfect kind of love—the one who we should end up with, call THE ONE or something. I just realized that there are actually different kinds of love in this world. || In my giving birth (again) to my real self journey || August 2021-April 2022 ||

—marymancee

Heartbreaking Mia-Ri Hill

Gunpowder smoke blinds me

As I wonder not knowing where I’m going

You, bound with string wire

Look over your back again and again

Limping barefooted

You’re dragged over this hill

The Mia-ri Hill —Full of heartache and sorrow.

It depicts a woman watching her husband get dragged to North Korea bound tightly with string wire. Imagine that it happened to you. What if that’s the last image you see of the person you love?

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You Inspired Me

For that, you were worth every inch of love I had to give

You were worth the fall, the bruised knees.

For that, I kissed the weapon that was your warm mouth with a soft tongue and I endured.

I waited.

—Seeds Planted in Concrete, Poetry by Bianca Sparacino

Joel Osteen’s Jokes “The Pastor and The Song Leader”

“A Friend We Have in Jesus”

I heard about this pastor and song leader that weren’t getting along and is starting to spill over into the services. One Sunday, the pastor talked about the importance of being a giver. Afterward, the song leader got up and led the song “Jesus Paid It All”. The next week, the pastor talked about not gossiping, watching your tongue. The song leader got up and led, “I Love to Tell the Story”. Another week, he talked about being willing to change. The song leader got up and led, ” I Shall not be Moved”. The pastor was so frustrated, he resigned. He told the congregation “Jesus brought me here and Jesus is taking me away”. The song leader then led, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”. -– The Secret to Solving Problems, Joel Osteen

wholesome clean Christian jokes

Joyce Meyer’s Jokes “The Husband’s Store”

Anybody heard about a new store that opened in New York city? It’s called The Husband’s Store and you can go there and shop for a husband. There are six floors in this store. You can only visit each floor one time though. Each floor you go up, the value increases. You may choose any item from any particular floor, but you cannot, you can go up a floor but you cannot go back down. So, there was a woman who went to the husband’s floor to find herself a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door read, “These men have jobs.” Floor 2 says, “These men have jobs and love kids.” Floor number 3 said, “These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good-looking.” “Wow, she thought, “this is sounding pretty good but I am compelled to go on to the next floor.” Well she does go to the fourth floor and the sign reads, “These men have jobs, love kids, are drop dead good-looking and they help with the housework.” “Oh mercy me”, she said, “I can hardly stand it.” “Still”, she said, “I gotta go on.” She went to the fifth floor, “These men have jobs, love kids, are drop dead good-looking and they help with the housework and have a very strong romantic streak”. But she couldn’t stand it, she decided she had to just find out what was on floor number six. Floor number six says, “You are visitor 31, 000, 456 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.” 🤣