There’s Freedom in Letting Go

Sometimes we gain freedom not only by letting go ourselves, but by helping someone else let go of us.

A child rounds a corner on her little purple bike, one training wheel clattering on the sidewalk, the other high in the air. Her father calls her over and tells her that today is special. Today, she has finally outgrown those training wheels and will learn to ride the bike like the big kids! Tears follow the happy news.

“But what if I fall? Or I can’t balance? I’m not ready!” she complains.

Finally, after many assurance that he will be right beside her, she lets daddy take the wheels off.

At first. he holds tightly to the bike, and she sits there frozen, unable to pedal, rigidly gripping the handlebars.

“Relax,” he says. “It’s okay. I’m right here by your side.”

She relaxes. Then she starts to pedal. Dad release his grip slightly. He lets go and runs alongside. She looks over and laughs. “Daddy, don’t let go! I’ll fall!” And then, the inevitable happens; she falls.

But she gets back up. He holds on again. And again. And again. Until suppertime, daddy runs beside, lets go of the bike, slows to a walk, and watches his little girl ride off on two wheels.

Is there something or someone in your life that you need to let go of in order to grow? Is there someone you need to help let go of you? Sometimes it’s tempting to keep people dependent on us. It makes us feel needed and powerful. It makes us feel good. But it may be holding them and us back.

Go ahead. It’s time. Take off the training wheels. Help them ride off into the sunset. Set both of you free.

P.S. I can’t remember where I found this so I apologize for not being able to mention the source of this.

Joel Osteen’s Jokes “The Silent Treatment”

Something for you to smile today 🙂

I heard about his husband and wife. They had been arguing. Now, they were giving each other the silent treatment. The next morning, the husband had to get up early and catch a plane. He needed his wife to wake him up not wanting to break the silence, he left her a note on her side of the bed. It said, “Please wake me up at 5 A.M.” He got up the next morning at 8 o’clock, missed his flight. He was so upset. He went in to find out why she didn’t wake him up. There was a note on his side of the bed, it said ‘Wake up! It’s 5.” – Easier than you think, Joel Osteen

How to Stay Calm when People Around you are Exploding

Hi, there! Having an angry day? Here’s a joke about taming your anger.

⁃ An elderly couple are sitting together one evening having dinner. The husband takes a deep breath and says, “Honey, I’m so sorry for letting out my anger at you so often. How do you manage to stay so calm when I explode like that? She looks up from her food and says, “Well, honey I always just go and clean the toilet whenever you do that.” “Really? That helps?” “Yes of course it does because I use your toothbrush.” 😂 This joke is brought to you by Juna Mustad from her TEDTalk

Alright, if you are here to really read about what the title says above, here are

WAYS ON HOW TO STAY CALM WHEN YOU ARE BURNING WITH ANGER

Go where your inspiration takes you and always remember to capture the good vibes,
–marymancee

WAYS TO STAY CALM WHEN YOU ARE BURNING WITH ANGER

PAUSE, SHUT UP and DO NOT SAY ANYTHING. This is another way of saying “Time out.” But the last time I was enraged , it felt so good to just go with it even though I knew it was not healthy. Then, I just stopped. I think this is the first step to distract ourselves from the burning desire in the heat of the moment.
TAKE A DEEP BREATHE & DISTRACT YOUR URGE TO BE ANGRIER. So, stop and take a deep breathe. In my case, I remind myself of what I would lose if I continued being angry. Then, focus on the things I would GET if I stayed composed and calm. Also, I had to remind myself that “You don’t have to win a fight, if you know or you think that you are right. If are right, you don’t have to yell to prove you are.” The last time I was in rage, I just stopped and looked at the person without saying anything. Then, I continued breathing in and out. Just focused on the breathing.
BE RATIONAL. Always remember that there are always BETTER WAYS in dealing with things. Yelling, screaming and continuously arguing would only make matters worst. I know it is not easy to stay rational when you are in the heat of the moment, but if you did number 1 and number 2, this comes a bit easier. Just remember, “If it is not going to solve the situation, it is not the best option.”
In summary, KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY and your MOUTH CLOSED until the urge has passed.

I think everybody feels this overwhelming pools of emotions from time to time and it is a bit hard when all we do is suppress them. Suppressing them is not very healthy. All the more when one of these emotions we feel is anger and frustrations. Anger which used to be a foreign word in my emotional vocabulary until recently. “Anger is a powerful feeling. It’s a normal and healthy emotion that happens when you are frustrated, hurt, annoyed, or disappointed.” And does not it feel good when you just go with it, lash out and explode? However though, it does not feel good after your anger has leveled down to zero, does it?

Recently, recently means in the past few years, I have experienced a lot of angry episodes to the point where it would start from being annoyed and then it would turn to rage. At this point, all I wanted to do was screammmmmmmm but now I have come to a conclusion that all of it was just piled up frustrations, heartaches, regrets and some other suppressed negative emotions. Then, I realized I had to find a way to let those frustrations out in some healthy ways because when you have a lot of these suppressed negative emotions, anger or rage is the emotion that can easily be triggered.

And although, this (in the photo) used to be my view on anger, people’s behavior are just one of the things beyond our control. Because no matter how in control we are though, there are situations, people and other factors that really get to our nerves. In this case, it is best to focus on managing your own reactions.

This photo is from https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/111431719/posts/1263

Those listed above are a few of the ways I have conjured up to avoid regrets and embarrassing anger manifestations, because I have had a lot recently and I feel like it is going to continue if I do not do anything about it.

(Angry years or rather the years I have gotten so angry and frustrated 2017(younger brother –now late brother), 2018 (older sister), 2019 (someone who lost my late brother’s bike) 2020 (him, my parents) 2021 (my father, my family, my coworker/s) & early 2022 (the CEO friend, older sister, parents, mother, father, him, family again, and everything else😂)

If you want to read anger management in better writing, I have linked two good sources below, I like the first one. Keep calm and enjoy 🙂

Seven Methods To Help You Switch From Angry To Calm In Seconds

15 Ways to Calm Yourself Down

Anybody can become angry-that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.
-Aristotle

–marymancee, April 2022

The Frog & The Scorpion

According to the book where I got this story from, this is one most important stories to keep in mind. However, I am not quite sure I understand it. I would be happy to hear your thoughts on this.

According to this story, the frog and the scorpion appear on the bank of a river at about the same time. The frog is about to jump in the river and swim to the other side. When the scorpion sees what is about to happen, he engages the frog in a conversation. He says to him, “Mr. Frog, I see that you are about to jump in the river and swim to the other side.” The frog responds, “That is correct.” So, the scorpion ask for a favor, “Well, you know I would also like to get to the other side. Unfortunately, I’m a scorpion and I can’t swim. Would you be so kind to let me hop on your back as you swim across the river? If you could deposit me on the other side, I would be grateful.” The frog looks at the scorpion and says, “No, you’re a scorpion and scorpions sting frogs and kill them. I get out there halfway with you on my back, and you’d sting me and I die. Do you think I’m crazy? I absolutely will not.” The scorpion says, “Wait a minute. You are not thinking. If I were to sting you halfway out there, surely, you’d die but so would I. Since I am a scorpion, I can’t swim. I drown. That would be kind of foolish. I am not about to do that. I just want to get to the other side. The frog thinks about that reasoning and says, “That makes sense. Hop on!” So, the scorpion hops on the frog’s back and they start to swim across the river. Sure enough, halfway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog. They are now both about to sink down into the water. The frog cannot believe what has happened and he says to the scorpion, “Why did you do that? I am about to die but so are you. Why would you do that?” And the scorpion replies, “Because I am a scorpion.”

I am not quite sure of my interpretation about it because it was dubbed as one of the most important stories in leadership so I Googled it and here’s one that I found.

Before getting too invested or too emotionally attached to someone, you should always try to figure out what their nature is. Who they really ARE. Not who they are presenting to you at that moment. We can all employ masks at certain times, when needed, to make ourselves appear better than we really might be. We’re also all susceptible to caving under pressure, feeling exhausted/drained/fed up, losing our cool and showing a side of ourselves that’s much worse than who really are. Those “I’m so sorry. I’m not myself right now. I don’t know what got into me. I’m not usually like that” moments that keep us up at night.
We all have our temporary ups and downs. Good days and bad days. Highs and lows. Angel moments and devil moments. Anomalies aside, everyone has a true nature. You are who you are at a core level. it’s important to try and figure out/see through the short-term spikes/dips, so you can understand who someone truly IS before getting in too deep.
In the story, the Frog makes the unfortunate and soon-regrettable decision to trust the Scorpion. A smile, a few charming words and a very temporary and very misleading representation of who he was is all it took for the Frog to let his guard down and forget/ignore what he already knew the Scorpion to be.
Scorpions will do scorpion shit. We really can’t be mad at a scorpion for acting like a scorpion. “It’s in their nature”. Instead, it’s on us to do a better job of controlling who we let into our lives and who we spend our time and energy on. It’s our job to pay more attention. Let’s try our best to avoid traps, avoid wasted time, avoid being hurt unnecessarily and to simply start paying more attention. If we can do that, then hopefully we won’t end up like our homeboy the Frog.
–medium.com/@steven.mccall

The interpretation seems to be about Relationships, Interactions and Expectations. I think I understand that “Scorpions sting and you can’t blame them when they do because it’s in their nature.” However, I can’t seem to relate this to leadership. I would really be happy to hear your interpretations.

–marymancee

Joel Osteen’s Joke “The State Trooper & A Senior Citizen “

I heard about this senior citizen. He was driving down the freeway in his brand-new Corvette with the top-down going 80 miles an hour when he saw flashing red lights from a state trooper in his rear view mirror. Without thinking about it, he floated — took off to a 100 miles an hour. He heard the siren behind him. He finally pulled over and said, “Officer, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” The state trooper said, “Listen! It’s Friday 4 o’clock. My shift is over in 30 minutes. If you tell me a reason why you were speeding that I never heard before, then, I’ll let you go“. The mean thought about it and said, “Officer, years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were bringing her back.” The officer said, “Have a great weekend!” – Peace With Yourself

The Alchemist (Paolo Coelho) Quotes

FAVORITE PARTS/RELATABLE PARTS (My 3rd time reading this book)

BECAUSE We all have those lines or parts from what we read that just easily resonate with us. Here are some of the lines from Paolo Coelho’s “The Alchemist”.

“At some point, we lost control of our lives & we let fate take control” world’s biggest lies

“When you truly want something, the universe conspires in your favor to helping you to achieve it.”

“I’m just like everyone else. I see the world as how I want it to be. Not as what it is.”

“The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of soil on the spoon.”

“It’s not what enters men’s mouth that is evil. it’s what comes out of it.’ – The Alchemist

“Wherever your heart is, you will always find your treasure.” – The Alchemist

“Always live in the present. It’s where life is.” -the driver of the caravan

“Everything that happens can never happen again. But something that happens twice will surely happen again.” – The Alchemist

“Every person in the world, no matter what he does plays a role in the history of the world and normally he doesn’t know it.” -The Alchemist

The Fifteen Types Of Women That You Should Avoid to Have a Long-term Relationship. — Ouso Escrever

A very good read I found today. Hopefully, you find it useful, entertaining, informative, or whatever (insert a grinning emoji).

Currently, this is me and these are why if I were a man, maybe I would not date myself, either. Huh! The toxins in me 😛

9.The Drama Queen: Tend to be unaware of their real feelings. (Except now I know what my issues are and am working on them.) Are usually overly concerned with physical attractiveness and dress in a sexually seductive manner.(I like dressing up because it makes me feel good. I loved it since I was a kid. My dressing up fashionably and sometimes sexily is not for seduction purposes, but if you are someone I like and you get seduced, it’s a bonus.) Drama queens share some features of borderline personality disorder, which is characterized by instability in identity and relationships. These people experience intense mood swings. (Uhmmm, that’s why I belong to this category because I have been having a lot of mood swings recently but I read an article it is just more likely due to PTSD. Hopefully. Or maybe I am currently BPD. Geez, no, I don’t want to be one.) “You often feel when you’re with them they’re terribly engaged with you and as soon as you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind.”
10.The Princess Mentality: Suffering from Princess syndrome is more common than you may believe. A girl or woman who suffers from Princess Syndrome lives life or wants her life to be a fairy-tale. She may learn that she cannot be self-sufficient, and she has to rely on a savior or the prince with the white horse. Although she may appear as a fragile/inoffensive woman, her passive-aggressive and demanding behavior over time will make you feel drained and exhausted. (I do not want my life to be a fairy-tale and I do not want to rely on a savior, but sometimes I feel like I want to, especially these days. Knight and shining armor! Please, where are you? haha I do have the tendency to be passive-aggressive though but luckily I am ware of this now so I am working on not being passive-aggressive.)
15.The Daddy Issue Girl: If you are dating a woman with a father complex or daddy issues, unless she did the necessary healing work, it can damage your relationship because this woman never felt loved or enough for her father. These types of fathers were emotionally unavailable and left in their daughters an impressive void that they need to suppress in their intimate relationship. In intimate relationships, these women feel they have to be perfect and rarely argue or get mad. However, they become very disappointed when they discover that their prince charming, weren’t that charming after all. (Uhmmm, currently, I still have a bit of these Daddy Issues but I am working on healing myself from these.)
– Alexandria Maria Santos