What if being practical means you are being ungrateful?

I have been so bothered by the conversation I recently (just earlier this morning) had with my father. It was just so frustrating that somehow he seemed incapable of seeing my point. I ended up almost becoming disrespectful to him. I felt like all I wanted to do was yell at him and tell him how lousy a father he was but I couldn’t do it and I am glad I didn’t because he wasn’t really like that all the time.

I was just so aggravated that he thought I wouldn’t notice that he was lying or like concealing things from me. Saying things as this and that but what he didn’t know was I have already been made aware of the real situation and he was telling a totally different version from what my sister and mother had told me. He probably thought he was not lying as he have been used to somehow making revisions of things to manipulate people. He may have thought it is okay to do things that way for as long as he gets to have what he wanted. It was aggravating because the longer the conversation got, the more it lead me to recall all the troubles in the past caused by the same action and attitude of his. The longer I listened to him sprouting lies and his manipulation, the stronger the rage I had inside. At the back of my mind, I kept asking when until when I had to continue putting up with it.

As his blabbering went on and on, I have started feeling so indifferent towards him that I did not feel like responding to anything at all. I just realized I was just totally fed up and this causes me to be more frustrated. However, by this time, it was also easier for me to rationalize things. I tried to calm myself down not really paying attention to whatever it was he was saying and then I was not feeling any guilt anymore. Logically, no one is supposed to feel guilty for any of this. No matter how much people, even my father, would play the victim. I should not feel responsible for their shortcomings, for him or for my family anymore, for that matter. Excuses, alibis and manipulation are easier done by people who do not man up , who do not take responsibility for their mistakes. One of the worst is they get better at guilt-tripping you making you sound like you are the one doing wrong against them and that you ought to feel pity towards them. Grrrrrr!!!

Honestly, this was all extremely frustrating. I do not really know what I should be feeling now. That conversation is really disturbing my peace. I am bothered by how I acted. I feel like I ought to feel guilty for kind of almost disrespecting them somehow yet logic dictates me that I should not. One part of me is saying maybe they only ask favor from me because they think I am capable of granting what they are asking… but also a part of me has been asking until when will I have to grant those to them or maybe they just did not know any better. In this case, I should have just adjusted. I should have just stayed patient, calm and interested (regardless if I really was not). The least I could have done.

I just do not get it!!!!! Ever since my world began, by this I mean since that time I have been conscious of my existence, I have always lived my best life so I would not cause dishonor to my parents. My decisions growing up were mostly based on the consideration whether it is an honor or a disgrace to them. They are just simple people after all — financially not so well blessed, and the only thing they have is their dignity. In my primary education, I would always aim high mostly because I would want them to be on stage proud of their children or at least one of them, if not all—- doing great and has excelled in school; a thing I noticed most of the parents in the neighborhood hope their children would give them. They didn’t even have to push me at all. I did it on my own. Isn’t this supposed to be enough? I did everything I could. I have never caused any disgrace or dishonor in my family. They should have at least seen this. 😒🙄

Now, they’re making me feel and think that my practicality is leading me to become a disrespectful child.

For me…

Just feels like this is what I need to counter the thoughts running on my mind these days!

She was there…

At one of the lowest points of my life you were there
Like a guardian angel you were, you never let your presence felt but you were there 
You let us spread our wings, you let me soar high even when  I doubted my capability to fly
You fueled me, set me into the sky 
How lucky was I 
But didn't realize this until one day I took a glimpse of the past and that moment pinch an inkling in my heart making my eyes not like a river that runs dry 

On the 29th of January some few years ago, an amazing human being was born 
Our path collided, little did I know her words were the only ones I needed at that point of my life and I am grateful.  

On the 29th of January some few years ago, an amazing human being was born; This, I want my world to know

What about you? Who are the people you are grateful for?

Love was winning

I saw the unicorns
Dancing in the city 
They were so happy
No one could believe 

What I saw was astounding 
Love surrounding 
So much beauty

Then I joined the dancing 
Started singing 
I was believing 
Joy received 

A new beginning 
Love was winning 

- Scott Moore

P.S. Scott Moore is a dear friend

What I am Grateful for 1-26-2021

Today, I’ve decided that I publish this writing just because I want to remember this day.

The other night before I went to sleep, as I was lying down and trying my best, I could not really stir my thoughts away from my doubts and worries–which had been for a few days this time. Whatever I did would not help to distract me from it not even me telling myself to just sleep it off and it would be fresh inspired thoughts the next day, and so I just pretended that someone was there and I just talked with him about it. I imagined that someone was Him. He was there listening to all the silly things I had to say. I wanted to have someone to talk to so badly but unfortunately no one was there (and before you continue thinking how poor I am and to help myself not sounding like a lonely unloved being, let me say NOPE UH OH not like that! There was no one not because no one cares for me but because it was like 2 in the morning :-D)

Anyway, last night before I was finally able to become unaware of my conscious thoughts, similar thoughts passed by but this time it was not as heavy as it was on the other night. I am never one to sleep with a heavy heart, I do not want to NOT wake up having a dramatic weary soul the next day (not that I am aware what would I feel once it happened–just thinking of in case I would know, I would not want to have that kind of feeling :-D) so I make it a habit to make sure I am able to pour these heavy things out and cheer myself up before finally sleeping at night. Last night, what I did was the same thing. Talk to Him. Pretend He was there. Share my worries out loud to Him and then just name things that I feel truly grateful for in my life.

The thing that amazed and surprised me today, which I am truly grateful for is the fact that the thing that worried me the most for the last couple of days until last night was the first one to cheer me up this morning. It was there. I did not even expect it all and it was more than what I was hoping for . And while I am aware that I am being vague as to what it is right now, I also feel very certain I am not going to say what it is exactly because it is something I would not want to cringe about when I decide to look back in the future time to come. But, I can share you this.

What I am mostly grateful for today is 8c4altn.

She whose words speak in the most resonating friendly voice

Are you new to blogging or do you consider yourself a seasoned blogger? No doubt, I fall into the latter group. I started this little blog of mine nine years ago – January 2012. On one hand, it seems like just yesterday and on the other hand, it feels like a lifetime ago. Time can […]

My Blog Plan for 2021 — Live Laugh RV

What does this mean to me? Why am I here?

I couldn’t be more grateful that I have come across this author last night through the writing she shared as what you see as the main photo above. She whose humble spirit and kindness speaks through her written words as if they were spoken to me in the most resonating friendly voice which made me self-reflect of my own accord. Nothing in what she wrote was intently persuading nor imposing for the readers to do anything, she was just sharing about her plan for the year yet how comfortable I was and most relaxed reading it and it was simply noteworthy. It was light and simply inspiring. And the next thing I knew, I was self-reflecting, admired how she sounded so sincere and realized what I want to be as a writer. I was very thankful I was able to do it because I had been feeling the need for it recently.

For the last few days, I have been able to do my what I tasked myself to but I had felt I really needed to spend time reflecting why I am doing it. As you can see on the tags in every writing I put recently, I have challenged myself to do a 30-Day Writing Challenge. It isn’t strictly like a novel-writing-challenge kind but rather just-what-I-think-of-the-moment-I-sit-down-because-it’s-my-schedule-to-write kind. You know, for the purpose of me improving my writing (no matter how cringey they may be and most of all uncomfortable knowing they are cringey). So far, I have been able to keep up with my schedule. However, in the next few days after I started doing it, something started bothering me, too.

The main reason I am here was firstly, to express what I do not feel comfortable sharing to the people around me. Things that can possibly be the source of a heated discussion or awkward interaction and etc. I am not one for confrontation especially if it’s something that can still be tolerated. That’s why when some negative feelings are surfacing because of people’s doing, I tend to suck them up, maintain my cool and then just let it go. If it still bothers me for few more days that’s the time I express in writing what troubles my head and then just like magic, they just disappear. However though, when I created this site where I can express myself freely, I realized that some people would still be able to see it especially if and when I publish any of my writings. Hence, the second reason for my being here is brought to life.

In my journey of coming back to life, I learned a lot. One of the my learnings is the secret to finding joy in life. I’m telling you if you’re gonna ask me though who I heard it from, I could not remember and list them exactly because it is a finding common from different individuals. All of these remarkable people say that GIVING is what makes life meaningful. Joy is when you stop expecting what you can receive from people and focusing on what you can give, instead. And I have been applying this principle since then and I have proven it to myself it works. Joy is there when we give with or without the returns. And giving does not necessarily mean handing a tangible object to anyone for free. Giving covers everything we share out to the world.

Since I like the freedom I feel when I am able to finally let go of the heavy feelings lurking inside me when I write them off, I realized that people can see and read them on this platform. I started noticing people visiting every now and then. In this case, I had to ask myself, “In this situation now, in what way can I give?”. And this is when I started considering what might I let the people receive when they spend time reading what I am writing. This is why aside from my emotions and random thoughts, I included some things that might be useful to people in any ways. Apparently, in the last few days since I started this 30 Day Writing Challenge to myself, there were days I didn’t bother and ignore this giving principle. I wasn’t thoroughly considering what people might get in what I have been writing. I was merely expressing and it has been bothering me to be honest.

That’s why when I read this writing last night, I couldn’t be more grateful for it brought me to reflect what kind of writer I wanted to be. And what I realized is that I wanted to be someone who give people that kind of feeling I was having when I read @Ingrid ‘s post. As of the moment though, I still have a lot to learn about writing, about being a writer, about translating my thoughts and emotions in words as vividly as it can paint pictures in the reader’s mind. And this is the third main reason I am here. I want to improve myself in this area for it offers me comfort. Hence, all the more I have to think of how I can give back in return.

This is a note that in my 30 Day Writing journey, I have come across someone so resonating and inspiring. Here’s to more writers like @Ingrid. I am happy and grateful. Thank you for the inspiration.

P.S. I still do not know how to automatically tag authors here so I am sharing her blog, adding links and pictures instead.

Thank you for being here and for reading.

NOTE: was written and published on Jan. 25, 2021 (same time) but due to..

Which money problem would you rather have?

An important question to ask ourselves especially if we have those old mental conditionings unintentionally imposed by the people around us which are still possibly holding us back to where we want to be in life.

BACKGROUND

Growing up, I was surrounded by people who adore Telenovela (soap opera) so much just like how millions of people enjoy sipping their cup(s) of coffee every single day. Now, if watching soap operas every weeknight is a part of your routine since God knows when, that would mean that by the time you are in your 30s-50s you have already watched hundreds of them. If you have seen a lot, it becomes easier for you to see common patterns. They would me more obvious and predictable.

Almost all of the hit dramas would consist of characters which are always present in almost all of them –whatever the plots and the twists of the story they revolve. For example, a drama series would always have a character who is/are the wealthiest and to illustrate the gap or to be consistent in providing what the masses need — inspiration, there’s always the poorest or the financially underprivileged. DISCLAIMER: Not that having them is a bad thing. Actually, I am a fan of movies, soap operas and etc. what/whoever the characters whatever the storylines involved. Anyway, back to the story, seeing those TV dramas and then talking about them by the time you and your same-soap-operas-every-night-neighbors meet up, everyone would end up sharing their opinions, their predictions of what is going to happen in the next episodes or how the story would end. And, I would always hear people around me saying how better it was that we were NOT RICH because wealthy people have major problems that we, who are NOT RICH PEOPLE, do not have. For instance, rich people struggle maintaining and managing their wealth or if not, rich people’s family member betraying or killing each other just because of money and whatnot. Though, for this matter, I am not saying that these brutal matters are not bad. Betrayal that would lead to murdering your family members just because of money is I think the worst and yet perhaps, they only happen often in TV soap operas?

People always highlighted how lucky we were we did not have to go through all that. However, what they failed to recognized was that we, poor people may never have to deal with those problems the wealthy have because we have also got our own problems to deal with everyday; far very different and a bit worse yet somehow similar from the rich people’s. This opinion from them, even from my parents sometimes, though subtly said but perhaps because I frequently heard it multiple times in my growing years, have been subtly implanted in my mind, too. Every time I dreamed, I aimed high or like daydreamed sometimes, these thoughts somehow would hold me back. It’s got a voice that echoes in my head saying, “Don’t be too ambitious. You don’t wanna have that much money. You know what happens when you do.” Luckily though, it does not hold the same effect on me anymore.

“We are lucky we are NOT RICH. We do not have to go through what the WEALTHY PEOPLE struggle with.” What they failed to recognize is that while rich people go through what they have to go through (either in telenovelas or in real life) because of too much money, the other side of the equation actually equates it like equally. A lof of unfortunates real events are being broadcast in the news daily, not because of too much money though but of the lack of it.

That’s why when I heard these lines “The love of money is not the root of all evil. The lack of money is.” for the first time, that time I had no idea it came from “Robert Kiyosaki” nor if I did knew, I s would not have recognized knowing him as I do now. Reading his books on financial matters are just so validating and so humbling. It makes me realized how long is the way I have got to go through to continuously educate myself about my finances–especially when it comes to investments.

Reading his book “Rich Dad’s Guide to Investing” , it highlighted how having a solid INVESTMENT PLAN is equally important as having financial education, experience and excess cash if we want to be a successful investor. Additionally, I think THIS IS AN IMPORTANT QUESTION we all got to reflect on especially if some of our old conditioning or beliefs are holding us back in getting where we want to be financially. We gotta reflect on this and decide WHICH MONEY PROBLEM would we rather have: HAVING TOO MUCH MONEY or NOT HAVING ENOUGH MONEY?”

Here I am free…

Here I am free from what has been crippling me
Nothing in the way and have been enjoying only my own company 
Alone but never lonely, beholden to this peace within me 
Yet some things just don't go away, do they? 

Here I am free and here I go fly 
Flapping my wings, trying to soar as high  
Yet, the harder I try, the louder I have to cry 
Oh! Must there always a thunder from that one particular sky?

Rumbling and rumbling the sky finally gave in and so here comes the pouring rain 
Soaked and exhausted, I am recognizing a familiar chain
"Wait, am I not free again?"

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People || On people’s emotional weaknesses

What I remember from my Psychology 101 class which I agreed is that “Habits can be learned; therefore, it can be unlearn.” and I totally agreed to it again when I have read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Dr. Stephen R. Covey and would do so again and again.

This is one of the most effective self-help books out there I believe. If we are struggling with self-confidence, indeed, there is no quick fix formula that would help us improve this aspect of our life. To increase our self-esteem, improve our self-confidence, we got to be willing to start by developing good habits.

The book mentioned to work on improving; bettering and becoming our best selves is really helpful. If we are able to understand it, internalize it and most of all, apply it-make use of it in our day to day lives, we can have our improved best version of ourselves. That is what the author had mentioned in one of his presentation of these habits.

I, myself, have struggled for a long time. I did not notice it but my relationship with myself just started deteriorating. I did not even realize it was happening. One day, I just woke up empty and kind of lost. I did not realize it then, but my life was like on autopilot. The worst thing was I had become emotionally dependent on other people. What’s much worse than that was I had become too emotionally dependent on one person, I guess and when I realized, that person would be gone from my life, I guess that magnified the emptiness, etc. I could not even really figure out when all of it started. It was a really long journey. I have tried a lot of ways. Looked for ways on how to deal with it. It was totally not a good place to be at. I have heard and read a lot of ways on how to overcome it and I even reached to a point when all I could think of was wish for a reset button where I could just hit reset and I could start all over again instead of dealing with it from time to time.

Reset button was never there and would have been never there until I decided to be the person I want to become and counted day 1. I had to go through everything–get to know myself better; what ticks and what not; what angers what triggers me, what makes me feel joy, everything. I observed people, too. The people around me, my coworkers, my neighbors, the drivers of the different public transportation I take, the vendors, my parents, my siblings, everyone (though I just did not make a written note of my observation—but I notice patterns and behaviors of people; those of which were highly related and needed by me I have taken a mental note and recorded in my head). Then, I agreed to a speaker or a line of a book or a quotation I have read, (whichever it was, I could not remember exactly). I agreed that, “YES, my successful journey had to begin with good habits.” Since the common certain patterns I had observed from different people contributed to my realization about habits, along the way, I began asking “What are the habits of these successful people I look up to?” Common thing they have is they all read. This is when I came across this truly-supports-what-it claims-to-be-book. To make the story short, nothing happened overnight and if you are going through what I was going through right now, I am telling you that I totally agree with Dr. Stephen Covey. There is no quick fix.

Anyway, just sharing this important hard earned lesson (which has been affirmed and verbalized long time ago before I knew it existed) by the author I have been and will mention again in the next paragraph.

According to Dr. Stephen R. Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the first two things we can expect when we understand the 7 interrelated habits of highly effective people are:

“(1) Improved Self-confidence; self-esteem -that will come largely is sense of better self-control. You are not victimized You are not being controlled by circumstances. You are in control.

(2) Improved (quality of) relationships. Many people have relationships that are deteriorating. They’re broken or their breaking. It maybe with their loved ones at home, it may be in their businesses;

These two are interrelated with each other. The higher your self-confidence is, the more you will respect others or work well with them: the less their weaknesses will be empowered by your depending upon them–relating to those weaknesses. Never build your emotional life on the weaknesses of other people. By doing so, you empower their weaknesses to control you; you magnify them; you strengthen them; you enlarge them. “

Thank you for taking the time to read. I am just sharing this as a reminder to everyone that building your emotional life on the weaknesses of other people is not helpful at all. Do not magnify people’s weaknesses.

That’s all. 🙂

Who Moved my Cheese? (Dr. Spencer Johnson)

An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Our Work and in Our Life

“Written for all ages, this story takes less than an hour to read, but its unique insights can last for a lifetime.

Who Moved my Cheese? is a simple parable that reveals profound truths. It is an musing and enlightening story of four characters who live in a maze and look for cheese to nourish them and make them happy.

Cheese is a metaphor for what you want to have in life -whether it is good job, a loving relationship, money or a possession, health or spiritual peace of mind.

And the maze is where you look for what you want —the organization you work in, the family or community you live in.

This profound book from bestselling author, Dr. Spencer Johnson, will show you how to:

  • Anticipate change
  • Adapt to change quickly
  • Enjoy change
  • Be ready to change quickly, again and again

Discover the secret for yourself and learn how to deal with change, so that you suffer less stress and enjoy more success in your work and in life.

“One of the most successful business books ever” – Daily Telegraph “

——From the back cover of the book

This book is so simple and I have to agree to everything that is stated here. It contains basic concepts that one needs to be reminded of from time to time.

Here are my most relatable/favorite part. (Actually, it’s everything but here are a few haha)

“… sometimes some fear can be good. When you are afraid things are going to get worse if you don’t do something, it can prompt you into action. But it is not good when you are so afraid that it keeps you from doing anything. “

– Who Moved My Cheese?